Thursday, August 14, 2008

Vandhana Chothyam chinthyam

In my Childhood, I was curious to hear His Miracle stories
In my Teenage, I was curious to Listen His Parables
In my Youth, I am curious to meditate His Questions….

(To Peter, he asked Do you Love Me..?)

Dear JY,
There was a heavy rain in the morning on that day… (Those days I was working in Alind.) I was seeing the beauty of the rain, falling through the window…Took one three fold black umbrella and went out of my small room.. to take one Hot Tea. Before opening the ‘Kuda’, big drops of water fell on my forhead..I weared my sandals and walked along by the side of the muddy road…to Gopi ‘Muthalaali’s T’shop, Gopi; a victim of globalization and liberalization… (When new shops came, tough to survive… His worry)

“Chetta, oru chaya, Medium Mathi ketto”…I opened one Manorama newspaper, reading along with the hot tea…In the middle I looked outside…small school going girls…koottam koottam aayi…some on foot ..Some by ‘Ladybirds’…very cute to see them with red ribbon on their hair…Again I went back to reading...looked for the news where I was stopped earlier…

Again I was disturbed in reading by the sound of a “Cycle falling’ and a cry of a girl..i went out of the T’shop to see what had happened…Njan Kanda visual ithaanu…”Cycle roadil kidappundu…athinte mukalil penkutty(karayunnu)… oru steel vessel lied on the road and milk was flowing along with the rain water”…One old man helped her to stand up from the road…

“karayanda…Onnum pattiyillallo” I told her…still the eyes was rolling down …by the fear of her Mother’s word. ”Milma boothil kodukkanda Paalayirunnu” .I took her cycle up and went along with her to her home…On the way I asked her whereabouts…. She told me “Vandhana, sixth stdil padikkunnu…NSS inte schoolil, Ivide adutha veedu”…She asked back..”Chetta oru 25 rupees yedukkan undo”.. “Abatham aayallo Thamburaane”….I want to give to my mother for Milk.. Ente pocket keeri ennu paranjaal mathiyallo…

After two days I saw her…on her cycle, riding with one hand and holding the milk on other hand (Pinne engane cycle mariyaathirikkum)… when she saw me…she pressed on the bell too and asked…”Chetta Engotta”…”Ivide vare”

On that evening, she stopped her cycle behind me and asked."Engotta” , Oh Vandhana…Njan Parumalakku’….
“Then I’ll drop u there up to Junction…’ ‘Enne Thalli idaan alle…’she smiled and rode her way…

Two days after, in the morning, I saw her on the same ladybird….she was on her way to her school…dress up on her uniform, Navy-blue skirt and white shirt…
Again she started with the usual word…"Chetta, Engotta?”

I had a practice of going to church in the evening when I was in Alind…(Chumma, No other time…) On that evening too I went to the parumala church…I knelt down and closed my eyes…I faced the same question…”Subin, Engotta”.. (From inside…) I tried to hear it again…”Engotta nee….”I tried to find out some real answers to the question….Really where are you going..? I started to meditate … (Answers to the small questions are always a tough task)…Where is your life heading towards… Am I going straight…! Subin are you walking on a straight line…Are you plain & Straight in thoughts, words and deeds……. Reality is always Shocking (heard, first time from Jimesh)

At the end, I read from the Bible, which lied on the side bench there…The Voice from the Desert….Voice of John

“Valanja Vazhikal Nere(str8) aakkuka…”Axe is put under the tree which is not bearing Fruits…..Ente Daivame…(cheriya oru njettalode, I read the passage)

Ennu Snehapoorvam

Last December I went to Alind to see my old colleagues…on the way back to home, I alighted at Vandhana’s home…I kept two pieces of ‘Kitkat’ for her…She was standing by the side of the front door… “Engane undu padutham….Thante Cycle yevide…”.when she was replying to me, I gave the Kitkats to her…and later said bye to her.

When I walked back to my vehicle…She asked from the behind….
“Chetta, iniyum engotta…?”.”Nere veettilekku…”

Proverbs 17:22

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22

Dear JY,

Our House is residing beside one crowded town...When we had started to live there, it was a little bit tough to bear the noises n the rush...Later we had to tolerate with it...(Like one short Joke, A man came to one palmist...” As per palm lines, for the next thirty years you would earn for your living by begging...” “After that Njan rekshapedum alle....”Oh After that, you never feel bad, Pinne it will become a habit).... Almost all the Govt offices are located in our neighbourhoods. ... Athil, Police station is nearer to us...Oru nearly two hundred mtrs from my home...So in those years, we had a feeling that our property and life were very secure..So my mother gave thanks to God to get a house near to the ‘Adoor Station...’(But I had a little fear in my school days to go on way infront of the station....there was a base for my fear..Once Police njangalle ittu townilkoodi onnu odichittundu. ..A Strike related to Load shedding...)

However, Sometimes we would see on the road that some thieves were escaped from their hand and running with life...Sometimes this people walked through our ‘parambu’ like some strangers... we would think may be some wayfarers ,When we looked them sharply..they were accelerating their speed...Pirakaale da varunnu Police...njangallud e parambikkude. ...(Adoor ningale kaal valiya kallan maaro,Sorry Njan kallan aayathu 20 years kazhinja.... Ithu athinu munpulla katha aanu)

On One Saturday.......I came out of my house by hearing the big roaring of a person...”Thief, Thief”..I went to the road...I saw that man who was running with the loud sound...When he crossed me..I asked to him where is the thief..He pointed his hand to the front...and then he ran fast...A group of people was running behind him....I again asked to them...Where is the thief... “Mone,Ah ‘Kallan’ ‘Kallan’ ennu vilichondu odunnavana Kallan...!” Ah ha Athrakku aayo....I also joined with the gang...
(You know people, A few like me in the society is like this...... They are behaving like a Moral police....They are holy with words But.....Sheep skinned wolves...Now more of these species are settled in the field of Arts n Literature.. ..)

After my college days, I spend my days to reach out to the nearby JY groups...Usually I asked a question to the groups, What your parents and friends would tell about you, If you die today!...Are you a curse or a blessing! Recently I heard a joke related to the subject...

An young employee called to his Boss house...His wife afraid to take the call, He asked where is the boss...She told He died last week..Oh..
He called on the next morning...Madam, Where is the boss, She told again He died on last week...
He continued to call her for two more days...
Madam, Where is the boss..She got too much angry, I told you that he died on last week..Then why you are asking again and again

Yes Madam I know he died one week back......Then. ...... (Silence)
Madam, I loved to hear it again and again that he died on last week!!

Once Jeevajyothi achan visited our group...In the middle of the speech he told a joke regarding White lies....Once a group of children were playing..... For telling one lie, children will give one mango each to the opponent...Game became very hot...children were telling some lies even more than my boss...On that way a priest came, He understood this game is not good...So he called the the children near to him and told this is bad habit ...You know, Till now I didn’t tell any lie....Ithu kettathum ,children gave their full bunch of fruit to the Priest and Told We never saw such a great lie teller....
In my hand, a cover of Mangobyte sweets, Njan Achane thondi....then gave it to him(like that children did)...Achanu athu ishttapetto illayo Hmm...... Ariyilla .....
A person’s quality in spirituality can weigh by hearing their Jokes...Like our cardinal Padiyara...Marthoma Metropolitan,

Ennu Snehapoorvam
Subin Mathew George

Wedding Cake
A couple was arranging their wedding and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding cake with 1 John 4:18 which reads “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” The bakery evidently lost, smudged or otherwise misread the noted reference, and beautifully inscribed on the cake John 4:18 ... “For you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.”

WOMB,Filled with Tears

Now a day’s My night dreams are frightening me...Recent Dream was, “A Child was comfortably lying on a hemispherical Bed, seems to be sleeping...But Sometimes He is smiling, sometimes he is singing ....After a while I heard a moan, child was killed ,But I saw the Killer’s Face in that limelight...I shocked, The killer was his Mother!..

Ente Ammo ..Njan Urakkathil ninnum njetti nilavilichu

Dear JY,
Two days after my mother had given birth to us(twins), My Grandmother’s Sister (parackode Ammachi) came to see her and the kids..She was very bold; but a ‘Vaayadi’...She took me in her hand and told, “Edi Gracykutty onnine nokkiya mathi...Evante karyam pokku aanu ...Oru ‘varaal’inte (fish)Athraye Ullu...” If my memory is correct, I got angry on that day...I pizzed on her Hand..(Ah ha, Athrakku kollathilallo) ...But people, I crossed quarter century on last 16th ...My God has an Extra concern on me...
Verdict for Life
Recently A petition came on Mumbai High court by a pregnant woman to get a permission to abort her five months Old baby....Story goes like this, Mrs Harish(Nikitha)(Correct the name) went to a gynaecologist for a normal check up .But after his thorough examination, Doctor certified that Baby is having serious heart problem.
So they decided to abort the child, and they went to a clinic. But Doctor was not ready as it is a offense against Indian law (as per the Indian law, Parents don’t have the right to abort a five month or above old baby)

So they put a plea to the High court to get the permission to kill as the baby is suffering from Heart problem...But the Court rejected the plea .In the court they argued that, To cure the Heart diseases they want to spend a good amount..And it will destabilise the Financial back ground of the family..Court didn’t accept the arguments and the verdict was against them....The News was a good treat for the Media; they went behind different sects of people to know their opinions.... to Parekh family, their lawyers. A lot of discussions were aired to the public. Whether they will go for Supreme court against the verdict..But No one thought of how the child feels...
Unheard lamentations. ..

Mamma, I know everything now...Once I heard that Mother’s womb is the most comfortable place on the Earth. But now I am not feeling it...Mamma, I too heard the Doctors prediction with a shock...But it didn’t worry me much..I have faith in my God and the efforts of the human...But Mamma, you know, I really worried only when you decide me to abort...I’m not interested to argue with my cute mother...I thought you conceived me with Love...I want to believe like that only...But what happened to you...Mamma, I felt happy when the doctor told he won’t do the crime! Then I understood that In My earth there are Good people too...Yes, Mamma I am paining by my Heart problem...But It hurts more when you went to the court to change the Law..I heard all your arguments silently...I cried Inside...I felt alone..I understood that no one is there to stand for me...Thanks to the Court for the verdict...

Mamma, Even though I have some severe Heart problems...( I know It will ‘eat’ your money, I know it will disturb your peace, I know...).But you must know that, Still I have the power to touch your cheeks, Still I have the power to kiss you, Still I can hold your hands, Still I can Laugh at your jokes, Still I can even pray to you...

Thanks to the Lord Almighty..Mamma, Thanks for your decision; You are not going to the Supreme court, rite?...Thanks to the Church ;You are ready to adopt me, Alle ( A special thanks and a hug to Bishop Gracious)... Mamma ,Doctors of Jeslak hospital are ready to treat me free...They will give me the pacemaker ...You are happy Now....
Thank you so much...

Ennu Snehapoorvam

Speak to us of children,
And he said:

“Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing to itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you”

Golden Fishes

It is a English poetry on the death of the Cat, Salomy. I forgot the author name...But my belief is, It was written by Shelly or Hardy...Salomy was a pet of poet’s friend...Very unfortunately she drowned in the fish pot and died... Poet wrote the ballad to comfort the friend...Poem says...How a female cat like Salomy can sit calmly in front of the fish glass pot, when the ‘Golden’ fishes were playing in the water...The famous axiom...All Glitters are not Gold is an extract from the poem...

Dear JY,

Universal truths
Two days before he left from Dubai, had Called Amma.... “Ammo,What you need from here...,Eda Binu,Yenikku onnum venda, Ninne onnu kandal mathi”...Ok..After reaching in home, (There was a function in all houses of southern Travancore, ‘Petti Thurakkal’...)After the function, she got a little bit worried..You haven’t purchased anything ‘Solid’ for me. He got angry by her enquiry.So he called me and told...When You are coming...Don’t forget to carrying something ‘Solid’...As usual when I called her before coming...She told ‘Yenikku Onnum Venda..Ninne kandaa Mathi’.....I understood the meaning....I went out for searching an 18 size bangles....I don’t know why this so called ‘Non-Worldly’,I mean Pentecostal Women usually wear ‘Golden’ wrist Watches...How can we blame Salomy...Salomy is a Female cat and fishes are Golden in...

Secondly , Women are possessive about their children...Once I asked her...Why u species are too concern about the offspring’s...You can never understand.. . until you become a Mother....Hmm. ..(I have a hope now...From the media I heard that One Mr. Tomas gave birth to a baby girl)...Sometimes she showed her discomfort on the phone calls of some female senior Sr.Nora or by Sicy aunt.

Why Women are crying...One for their children, Other for........
(If anyone felt bad on my observations, You can take revenge on me by writing three pages against Men...But Don’t discuss with Mrs. Ajitha (Anwesi,president) .

Athe,Please forgive me...Below written words having no link with the above...

...In our family, all have their own opinions...and had the freedom to express...So decision making was a little bit difficult..Once after a good fight...Appan made a good confession.. . “I had made a mistake in my life...I gave basic educations to my children, Now I know, Athu valiya thettayi poyi...” Tomy sir and Sicy aunty came to home by hearing these confessions. ...They laughed with us...Tomy sir is working as a Physical trainer in our neighbouring Arts college...Very active in JY circle....He called me to come to the college for a day to sit with his ‘Volleyball’ students.. Later I became a familiar face in their volleyball court and the groups...Very nice bunch of people....

One of the regular attendee was an young neighbour of the college, Age was coming near to 30 years...I forgot his name..We can call him,Saji...He faced Brain haemorrhage in the past and became bed ridden...Later he slowly recovered from the stroke ...But On those day he suffered some problems while walking..But a genuine humorous person.... Always sat back of the group and sang with us...Usually People who was having motorcycle dropped him infront of his home after the group..On my last group, he asked me to come to his home and offered a Tea...He put his hand on my shoulders and started to walk with me...On the way he summarised his life to me...It was nice to hear for it was filled with jokes and thoughts...While turning towards the way to his home...He shared a great pain in a human’s life....

Subin, Yenikku oru Sanghadam(pain) undu...All the people around me are looking with Pity on my disability.. .I am getting angry by others Sahathapam.. .Njan maduthu ee Sahathapangal kettu...Kannu Niranju Ozhukunnu... I placed my right hand on his shoulder....

I decided to stop saying ‘Kashttam aayi poyi’ to those people.....Rather decide to do something Good for their better being...

Ennu Snehapoorvam
"You... whose day this is,make it BEAUTIFUL.Get out your rainbow colors,that it may be beautiful."
Nekoosa Indian Poem

An Earth Song

How generous you are, Earth,and how strong is your yearning for your children
We extract your elements to make cannons and bombs,but out of our elements you create lilies and roses.


Dear JY

‘Chandran’ Chettan

In 1990’s Government of Kerala blessed us with power cuts and Load shedding. Load shedding in the night was very comfortable to us;Usually we got together behind the home(There was a small courtyard)…I was always trying to sit near to one small square pillar which supports our tile roofed house…Mother & sis would sit at steps just outside of one door and my brother was laid on the verandah. There, we started to untie our all School stories before Amma… Mother had brought some “mixture’ from the shop to put some spice in our talks….She would tell some comforts, advises, thoughts, Her past stories…Mean while I took half of the mixture and put it in my mouth,and would have made the sound kara mura..kara mura(Sound of mixture eating) But you know people, How the nature was set for us on those nights…
A cool breeze from the west may touch our faces and filled a sweet fragrance between us… the coconut tree, beside our home would swing in the breeze…Night was baptized in the moonlight… we could see the Moon through the leaves of the trees… A serene silence may play in our hearts…God Set the Nature for us to make our heart much lighter and fonder…


On those Monsoon months,….I loved to stand at the Verandah to see the Beauty of Rain fall…I stretched my hands and collect the rain water in my palm…My brother pushed me from the back ..Oho…I can’t write down the feeling of the first fall of water on my face…I pulled my brother to the rain and we both started to play in the muddy water…
“Eda Anusaranam kettavanmaare… pani(fever) pidikkumeda…After hearing the warning from her, we ran towards the road to expose more to rain…Rain, Rain Come again…

On one rainy day we went to our paddy fields to see what happened to our crop cultivation…. The Situation was heart breaking..You know,water was at the top of the paddy…we got so worried…Me and our cousins decided to break the ‘Mada’(construct with stones and have one small pipe in between) to emptying the water…At last we were successful and walked back to the home as if like some Body builders…We told ‘what all things we did at the field to the Grand father…
“Eda Yeranamkettavan maare…I put around 1000 rupees to construct the ‘Mada’…Nee yellam koodi…..” Ayoo…We ran out to the Rain again…

(Ajjo, Do you remember the ‘Golf’ play in the college ground on that rainy Day
Josh, Remember our cricket match under the Heavy Rain)

Hey, Now I know the meaning and even the feeling of Spiritual rain prophesied by Prophet Joel…

Tree of life…

His parables are the statements of his affection and awareness on the nature…It was very clear in the Gospel of St.John…I seriously meditate ‘Tree’ for the first time in Proffessional Conference’03. .What a beautiful concept and simily with man…In that workshop…..asked to meditate Roots, Branches, Stems, Fruit, leaves…In Pslams 01:03 ,there is a life changing Wish …. “ He is like a TREE planted by streams of water,which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf doesnot wither.Whatever he does prosper”

My English professor D.Mathews wrote a book on Trees which are mentioned in the Holy Bible…Book’s name is ‘Lebanonile Devadhaaru’… Do you know the beauty of ‘Devadharu Trees’…Hey find out and share

I know, I didn’t plant even more than ten trees in my lifetime..I don’t feel much pain on that.(Since I don’t know the value of trees) When I was in home for the last vacation. She asked me “Mone ..Nammude padinjaare(west) parambil oru pathu Vazha(plantain) Nadada…” “Ammo, where is our spade?...” She was very happy by my enquiry...Then I put one new dress and ran(escaped) towards the town for one tea and evening chat with friends…

Puzhayum Kadal Ammayum
River sides were the curdle of life for all civilizations… standing at the side of the ‘Puzha’ and hearing its music is always a heart warming…I still remember the water trip through the river Periyar, We took one small ‘Vallam’ and kayak by ourselves….a great voyage through the hand streams …a great feel of stillness. Biblical Concept of river is the flow of life…

Meditate Sea….The Sea gives us an inspiration to ‘fight back’…When one wave dies off…A thousands of other waves are raising up….A good scene which reminds our strength to come up…’Nature’ has a healing touch like ‘Time…’Hasn’t it!

We can find a rich wisdom related to Nature from the Bible…Learn from the Ant (Solomon’s proverbs), Providence and caring of God (Eagles, Chronicles) …Lilies in the field…the Vine and the Branches (Christ),

How much do we blessed with Nature…Scenic beauty of Sun rise and sunset... Infinite limits of blue sky, (Nature tells us to be wide like a blue sky…) Green extravaganza of Planet Earth…Rich life of brown soil (Just listen what Khalil told… “And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.”) Immense life under and above water… Dead silence inside the deep forest….Leaf shedding seasons of autumn (I want to walk along the walkways in between the trees in an autumn month…). Fruitful month of springs( I’m getting the smell of Mangoes, Now)…Who will forget the December snow …Hey, just want to swing on the Mango tree branches again…would like to swim again in the village pond. and in our college’s. I want to walk along the seashores on bare foot…Truck again the hilly stations of Kothamangalam.

A real truth is ….all elements in the nature is an inside possibility of us …There is River inside,Sea inside,Night inside,Seasons inside,Sun inside….Yes ,I’m the Universe.

I believe, A person who is having spirituality, keeps relation with God, Man and Nature.. Lord, I’ve a confession today, All my relations are ruptured. Have Mercy

Ennu Snehapoorvam

We planted twenty Coconut buds around our premises.. Even after ten years,we didn’t get any thing from them for our daily needs…In the morning I used to have a small ‘Iyyam’ visit..When I am seeing the fruitless trees ,I would touch on the tree and prayed
“Lord …Ithinte Mandari matti Thengine(coconut) fruitful akkaname…”

Now ,you know…same old ‘Iyyam’ visit I have. But with one axe…When I am seeing any Mandari thengu,I cut down without mercy…On the way, I would give one cut on the Nalla vriksham too…”Ammo, iniyum yethu maram vettanam!”, Like a Velichapaadu, Deviye!

An Attitudinal Shift

I forgot the smell of roses, lilies and even the taste of mangoes….I deserted from the Mother Earth

Ente Uppupakku oru Aana undaayirunnu

Njan VASU Party ude 'ARTS Club Sec' candidate aanu. Ahamkaram kondu parayuka anennu vicharikkaruthu. . Enikku Motham Kazhuvukal aanu,I mean talents. You know I acted in Block buster Movie 'Kireedam'.. .I got state award(balathaaram) for the performance. May be you noticed me....I’m coming only in one scene in the movie....During on that stunt...”I was there among the crowd..Ah Kai pokki kanichathu njana...!Entha ente oru performance, alle!

2002 Election Speech..
Final Year Electrical Student
VASU Party

Dear JY,

On that Good Friday, I went to Bahrain with One Mr.Koshi Achayan .For the last 29 years he has being in Gulf..So Gulf money ude oru Nigalippu undu...Ah Nadathathilum, Bhavathilum. ..
On the way,It is very unsahikable to hear all his ‘Pongacha’ stories...”Subin, I’m the manager of Sigma paints here, I myself operating the complete office...(Achayan ‘operator’ analle)..See here, that five storeys building...It is our Office..See there, that Holdings,... ..”Sigma’s own holdings”.... ... Look here...(Onnu po achaya, Angottum ingottum nokki nokki ente pidalli vetti).I’m travelling to Bahrain on all the times on company matters. I want to look after both Bahrain and Dammam..Offices ..if I’ was not there, company will go to a big loss....To divert the topic asked, ”Achaya Makkalu okke’”.... “My one son is doing MBBS in Nepal...I gave donation of 30 Lakhs.” Pinne enikku kure cash unde...I searched in all the Medical colleges in Kerala...No I won’t allow him to join in Kerala...Politics, pinne Mosham Teaching alle...(Entammo ,Achaya..njan Thottu..).
My Mind went to my early childhoods while he was telling another flattery...I was an ‘Ahamkaari n Pongachakaran’ in my Schooldays.. .I took the Album which my father brought from abroad, to school and Showed to my friends and used to tell...This Building you see na...This is my Fathers Palace in Gulf ,The people near to him(pointing to one Arab, actually owner)is his worker...There are around 5 palace like this for him..Could u see the camels in the background .My father have a big camel farm in Gulf...We are supplying camel milk and meat throughout Gulf region....After telling this I heard a big sound...Sound of some crackers...DOI. ..DOI...My brother was making the sound...Entha Sneham ennu nokku...Infront of my friends, Njan chooli poyi.....
Another Stage of Vedi pottickal ...When our Vicar and sisters were coming for House visits...they usually asked... How was your studies....What is your rank.... (Achanmarkku ithu vallathum chothikkanda karyam vallathum undo) “Acha e pravishyam, i got only 3rd rank ..”My brother was always one rank behind me(How we are counting the rank ,you know...Counting the papers which we failed...So our rank never went down to 12...(Total Subjects)...
Amma parayarundu. .. “In our family no one have this behaviour... From whom you got this character...” (Njan enthu pizhachu..nammalude familyil vere midukkan marillathathu. ..)
Recently I am thinking of my all Spiritual and Moral flatteries..
1) Once in the home, I’m declaring in front of my family...Look I’ve worn white dress of Holiness..
Yes..Yes My brother replied with a smile..and continued... .”Mookkil kurachu cottonum koodi vechal perfect...”
2) My another Ahmakaram was on knowledge...Idakku enikkoru dharana undayirunnu “njan Puli anennu....”It has gone by attending more than ten technical interviews.. Pineedu njan ithuvareyum knowledgeil ahamkarichittilla. .sathyamayittum. “Undayittu vende,Alle
3) On Beauty...People... now all people were telling, In my childhood I was looking so cute...In that Old B/W foto, I was white...why now my complexion changed....Ariyilla .
But now I escaped from the pride of beauty..Ullavaru Ahamkarichaal porei....
4) On Relations...I always boasting on my relation keeping styles ...These days God gave a beautiful message through a big clash happened in my life.... Please provoke ur good Friends, they would throw us like a waste in to the dustbin...You please evoke their egos..They would tear you like tiger...They never remember ...what we did for them....
Peoples needs some ‘time pass’ through relationships. ..What else. Nothing... and it is true...I ‘ll also do the same ,if you evoke my ego’s..100% sure.
Chechi paranjapole. .”Bhoomiyil sneham illa”..
I understood, in our most needed time...we are Christ
Now a days, I am having one hobby, to listen all ‘relatives pongacha stories’.I’ll encourage them to tell too by asking some questions...” My chettan Americayil aanu, Chechi Germanyil Aanu, Ente Aunt Los Angels il”
5) On Money...Oh enthonnu parayaana... .Cash ullavan Catholican.. .. Allathavan.. ....Hmm
6) On Fame....I am running behind that....On our last chat she was telling...Why you sent the mail “Buthijeevi sookthangal” on JYMACE...Ninakku ellavareyum kondu parayippikanam,” Subin, oru Bhayangara prasthanam anennu.”Athalle manasiliruppu. .May b rite, Chechi
7) On Food, Once my friend told to me....Sound’s seems to tell some big thing. Today we prepared Pork in our house, Is it ‘pork’ a delicious thing to eat...
(Pongachangal oothi veerpicha kumalakal aanu(Jose Achan))
My thought was disturbed by his call “Subin ,This is our Beharin church....”(Koshicha yan ..Ennodu.. “Oh Ah kanunnathaano. ..”.On that day He busily introduced me to all rich and wealthy Athipurathana Malayalee Suriyaani... .orthodox people...On the neck, all having one choir piriyan chain...
At the end, he introduced one Varghese, looks like one White Sreenivasan. ..having some closeup smiles... “Oh Koshichayano. ..Achaya njan oru puthiya electrical company start cheythu...One Cable Distribution cum factory...(Enikku santhosham aayi ..Electrical. ..) He was telling “Acha electrical sector inu, now a days entha oru growth (Pinne ,Njan Arinjillalo) ..Now My son is planning to do Electrical Engineering. ..Enikku Ah fieldil kure experience undallo...Yes. ..I can guide him very well...I know all the things happening around the globe regarding Cables, Power...bla
(I’m a little bit worried.. since,I forgot to take the Resume..Other wise)I gave my visiting card to him...He suddenly got surprised..You are Electrical Engineer....
Subin, you know, “I am B.Com..., Subine, Appol ellam ariyamallo.. .Njan onnum ini parayandallo alle...” Achayan paranjo..I don’t know much in engineering.
While coming back to Dammam...My mind was a little bit disturbed... Since...I talked to all big big achayans..having money, having fame, having power, having knowledge...
But I didn’t give a try to see any people who came from Labour Camps of Beharin...From deep deserts of Beharin who were working at 52 degrees... Sacrifice their whole life for the upliftment of their the desert ...(Ente karyam vallatha kashtam thane....)
I didn’t come out from all my stupid characters yet..But you know...all my outreaches taught me a lot of good things....Outreache s asked me to be so humble...Outreaches taught me the value of Money. It taught me the meaningless of Fame and power....
To get out of all my pride...Now I’m meditating on the fact “Tommorow you may Die"!. Your palm is having the cold...., Cold of Death!

Ennu Snehapoorvam

Pattala(Soldier) vedikal!
When I was working in Pallom S/S...All Security staffs who were working there were retired from Defence...There is one Sukumaran Nair...We called him as ‘Missile’ Nair..
He was telling...In Kashmir...Once our officers were trying to launch one Missle...No way..They couldn’t...
They called me.. “Jawan Nair..Yes Sir,”
Launch the Mathra Magic Missile....( athu Airforceinte missile Alle)...Njan aara Mon...
Njan Missile onnum charichu like our chethak...Pinne I pressed on one green and one red button...Missile nere Islamabadilekku! !All Officers gave me hand shakes...
Pinne On that Night,Infront of me two Terrorists, I’ve only one bullet inside my AK-47..I want to kill both of them at a time..Otherwise my life is in danger.I Put one knife in front of the Gun...Njan kaanji valichu...Bullet became two pieces....both died...

Flash NEWS

He Said to the crowd, “ When you see a cloud rising in the west, immediately you say,It’s going to Rain and it does,and when the south wind blows you say,Its going to be hot and it is, Hypocrites ! You know how to interpret the appearance of the Earth and the sky..How is it that you don’t know how to interpret this present time?
Luke 12:54

Dear JY
Chanthu’s Cricket ground was a school compound of one U.P school, which is situated around eight furlongs far from his ‘Puthooram’ house..On Saturdays and Sundays, he was a regular player cum spectator... He never forgot that sunny evening..... Out of his six balls,Our Local Yuvaraj singh hits five sixes against him...He escaped from the humiliation by putting the Last Ball as wide..The Umpire(his cousin) is very compassionate on him...He didn’t called Wide....However Chanthu escaped from a ‘carnage’...But it’s feeling had lasted for one week...When Chanthu came to his home...He was angry with his Mother.. “You are the reason for my bad show in the ground”..Otherwise he couldn’t smash like that...She didn’t understand anything...Chanthu asked “Why you didn’t teach me Swing bowling, Amma...hmmm. ..(Nalla Katha aayi Poyi..)Cricketil thottathinu. ... Chanthu Motherinodu
But Chanthu didn’t get much feeling after that...Why? Pinnedu Athu oru sheelam aayi..,(Smashing Sixes by Heros),Otherwise please ask to Sreeshanth(Oro ‘Adi’ varunna Vazhiye; Earlier only with bat,Now with Hand too)...He knows better than Chanthu...!

In his school days too..As you know Chanthu was brilliant in studies...After exams ,he would tell....Full marks...But he was always the last...He was telling.. “ whenever he opened the textbooks, ‘Current’ may go...” So to pass the time...I closed my eyes and sat in the chair(Athinado e erunnu uranguka..irunnu uranguka ennu parayunne... Chanthu). .Chanthu didn’t accept the fact.....Government is putting Load shedding..during exam times.Then who was responsible for His tragedy..Yes Chanthu, You are rite..Mr. Pinarayi Vijayan(Power minister in 1996-98)...Pinarayi , you don’t have ‘MAP...’ Ok Njangalude Chanthuvine Tholpichu kalanju...(Chanthuinte Future ningalu iruttil Aaki..) :(
Examinu Thottathinu. ... Chanthu Ministerodu. ..

Athaanu ‘Puthooram veetil’ Chanthu,..He never take responsibility of his Failures...Today, Chanthu becomes ‘Dirtyum’ ‘ Naughty um’.!...He is accepting the fact too...But he is not ready to take the responsibility. .. who is responsibile. .Now he can’t blame on his parents and friends; Since Chanthu ippol ottakku(alone) aanu...So Chanthu decided to catch the culprit.. How ever (At last) after a long thoughts and discussions he got the culprit.......THE MEDIA

Yesterday Mr.Puthooram Chanthu..entered in the web, log in to a Online newspaper... .You know what all things he had read...
1) Mr.Athmachaithnya Swami Thiruvadikalude Flat raid cheythu.... ‘Kaduva’yude Tholi kitti (Enthu kitty, saaare kaduvaayude tholi kitty!)
2) Sonia Gandhi didn’t give face to Mr.Arjun Singh (valiya karyam aayi poyi)
3)Mr.Sachin’s bat is having a weight of 10Kg(Atha ippol naduvu odinju veetil kidakkunne.. ..20-20 kalichu kandittu enikku onnu .....)
4)Nanavathi commission heard Baji’s and Gopu mon’s comments.... On ‘cheppakutti problem’
5)Kerala congress splitted again....Named as Kerala congress(A1, A2)(Internationa l news...hmmm)
He counted .....How many Scams, Murder, Robbery, Back stabbing, Leg vaaral, Rapes,....
What is wrong in Chanthu’s conclusion.. .Is it rite people? Media polluted his Mind..( This is the ture foreign invasion)

Now a days I was wondering... .what happened to our Media...(Sorry for generalisation) ..You look to the last one year News...Did the media put any creative and constructive thing to the public..They are going behind the sensational valueless News...Thinking that people are more interested to read the ‘Dirty’ Stuffs.....Why they are running behind the political dramas instead of common peoples issues. They are peeping to the personal lives of the big people and with the language of masala ,they are serving it as a hot dish...Media have a pride that they are drawing the moral Lekshmana Rekha...for the society...And thinking on such a way that they are moulding the policies of the people and the government.. . Why they are searching for crispy news...Are they under estimating the taste of the Reader. Media even didn’t give the time to analyse a news to the people...(Appozhekk um next flash News... Mr.Santhosh Swamiyude Mobile nu Range kiitunundu!! ) People ,My belief is........ In the very core, Media is a person....( who may be a Reporter/Journalist ) .The news is the reflection of his spirituality ,his attitudes, his way of seeing the things..his interests, his upbringing, Even his schooling...
(Recently Mr.Chanthu had a Journey from Dammam to Riyadh....Around 400kms away..There was an 8 lane road to Riyadh...Through the middle of the Desert ,even no ‘Pettikada’ by the side of ...Some Petrol stations were there in between 60kms...Chanthu asked himself....How much effort did people take to complete this Road project...How much they suffered when they r working at such a pathetic climate..... with out even any shade of trees..

When Mr,Chanthu was in Dubai,He got amazed by the construction of ‘Burj Dubai’. How much tough is the design for such a WONDER. How much tough to finalise the loadings on each Beams and columns. Tough to handle the thousands Manpower’s... .

Now Chanthu is amazing on the design of substations, you know 10 years 400kV Substation having an area of 200x200Sq metres..Now that substations can accommodate within a two storied building.... !)
Why Media is not searching for the wonders happening around the world...Why Media is not taking care the people who are behind the Scene of the wonders...why they are not bring the tremendous efforts of peoples to the public: So that public can inspired by
My primary conclusion is Media doesn’t have ‘VIVARAM’
My belief is Each NEWS should be a Gospel.... Instead of spreading the Darkness and Covered truths... Should give the Hope to live by...Shall give the Light in the darkness...

Ennu Snehapoorvam

When our Mother gave birth to us...In our village it was a NEWS ..and spreading like a wild fire... ‘ Gracy ‘Iratta’ (twins) pettu....My elder sister ,she was an age of two and a half years at that time
You know, How she was telling ...Ente Amma yettu(8) pettu....
Same like what our Media is ‘fabricating’ the News...having a difference of Elephant and Goat


Tolerance implies a respect for another person, not because he is wrong or even because he is right, but because he is human

Dear JY,

Uncompassionate. ...
I always loved to sit at the corner steps of that church...Its surroundings were very peaceful to me, I usually went there when my feelings got hurt...Church doors were always opened to all type of people, On that Friday morning I went there to attend the Holy Mass....I was a little bit late(Athu parayanda, Ariyaam)so I got a little space at the back to stand...but adjusted with an old man...In the middle of the Holy Qurbana, I looked to the side of women to see what happened to that Old woman...She was behaving abnormal, Causing a little bit disturbances inside the church....An Old priest came near to her and asked to go out of the church, She didn’t heard his advice....He hold her hands and moved her out of the church...
I felt something bad inside...A lot of thoughts persuaded me...Why church was not compassionate to her...Otherwise where should she go instead...People needs Church like a Hospital.... If you dig to find out the roots of Some recent suicides of students, One of the small reason is the uncompassionate Christians

Hindu Kazchakal...
When I was working at Kottayam, I got an opportunity to visit the Thirunakkara temple...I went with one of my friend....Just to see its constructional beauty... Three things amazed me a little...Of course one is the beauty of the Vasthushasthra. ....
As a child’s curiosity, I looked around the temple to see what the devotees and Priest doing...My eyes locked on one Old man who was walking infront of us....After doing all the rituals....lied straight down to the ground infront of the ‘Prathishtta’...extended his praying hands forward (Sashttanga pranamam)
As a complete surrender infront of the almighty... and telling without words...
‘I’m Yours’.......
That was a new knowledge for me... ‘Athazha pooja..’Giving Food to the God...Then they closed the ‘nada’ of the Temple
In my native, I always see one man on every evening, In front of the Krishna temple... with his crossed hand which held to the ears...and moving up and down, Like ‘Yetham Edeel’, telling Sorry for all the Trespasses ...I want to do this in my church...

Once an Old Sanyaasi came to our the noon time, Me and my brother only were in the home...He asked for some food...We placed one good meal in front of him...He made one small round of rice and placed outside of the plate...We got angry...Why he was behaving like this...Wasting food! He read our mind and told...Don’t feel Bad...I’m giving food to God, Then he made another roll of side dishes and placed in front of Subramaniyan’s Foto...
There is much goodness in the concept of Hinduism, at the earlier times of church, we adopted such beautiful cultures from that religion...The Concept of ‘Thaali’ too....Alle

Ithu parayaathirikkan oru Nirvahavum illa....

The wide Gap between the religions... .and its people...We have a good spirituality to hate others...and no try for finding out any reasons to coming together.... Leave religions..What about Churches...
This was the time of Twenty Twenty cricket (Njan Pazhaya oru player aanu,Yenikku oru six adikkanulla moham ippozhum bakki kidakkunnu.. .But yenne kure peru Boundry kadathi.. Hmmm),Enthado yathoru bendhavum illatha karyangal parayunne,No, I am coming to the point....
After each matches, one of my friends was asking....How many wickets Irfan took? How many sixes Yousuf pathan flied....Muhammed Kaif didn’t played?....Tanvir’s bowling,how it is....In which team Muhammed Asif is playing....Shohaib Akther....In Kolkata Na..What are this...They want to know only about their own people.....No eyes to see as One.... “Edo dialogue parayunnathinu munpu...What about you...”
I too was like my friend....I enquired.... . How much runs did Mr. Graem smith take...How was Albie Markel’s all round efforts...Ugly Mind....This is too smelly to breathe... bad Air....
Like Jonathan Swift told.....We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
Shall we come together in the name of Him?

Ennu Snehapoorvam

I opened the television, As scroll down, I stopped on one Hindu Channel, teaching Yoga...I started to do the exercise by hearing (television) Swami’s advises...I put feet on each laps(Padhmasanam) ..Close one nostril and take one deep breath....Hold the both hands and placed behind the head......Now I became one geometric figure, But after the breathing exercise, I heard the T.V swami was telling...Come to the Normal Position...Tragedy !I can’t move any parts of the body....Ammo, ,Ammmo... .sound was not coming out....Fortunately Brother went through the room, By seeing my vepralam, He helped me to come my normal position,,,,

If he didn’t came...Njan Samadhi aayenne!

Praying Hands

Isaiah Chapter 38:

Prophet Isaiah Came and told to King Hezekiah….”Tomorrow… You will Die”…King sat close to the wall and Cried deeply…..On the way back to home ,God asked to Isaiah “Go and tell to the king….I am extending his life span to 15 more years…. “

Dear JY

Rangam 1: When I was 3 years of age…I started to go to Ashaan Pallikoodam… Used to go with our housemaid…..On the way up to there, I was crying (….Aksharam padikkan Entha Oru interest)… I first exposed to group prayers there …
Prayer Song : Parisudhaathmaave nee ezhunalli varaname ente ….
(Take the notes…A B/ B /C A C C /B A B /B C…..)
Singers: Ashaatti ‘n’ pupils(Noise same like the cry of crows…Listen u can hear from ur surroundings… )
My Another praying picture was My Mother's Prayer(Knelt near to the Bed...) I cannot be able to remember any other pictures related to my early childhood prayers

Rangam 2: Oh thou Great Chief,Light a candle in my heart,That I may see what is therein,And sweep the rubbish from thy dwelling place....A Candle in My Heart
prayer of an African school girl

LKG--STDX; Me,my brother n sister were used to walk up to our school through some easy short our way there is a compound wall where we usually found the above written prayer. In my School days…I was always desired …If the morning Prayer would never end…Why you know..after the Prayers…Class Teacher was starting to ask questions….’n’ later want to march to outside…
Time 10am: Prayer songs: 1)Sing Halleluiah….. sing Halleluiah 2) Sachithandha sarva vallabha….

Rangam 3:PDC 1 &2 Time 9am:
Prayer: You are truth itself & origin of all knowledge…..( recited by principal) There was an another ‘stage’ for prayer, that was in our Mathematics Tuition classes...Every Morning.. one should come front and pray….When My turn Came…..What I usually did was….. I recited our college prayer from bottom to top…..

Rangam 4:BTech ,4 yearsVenue: Vimalagiri, Kothamangalam. When I was in first year, prayed only one or two times in JY Wednesday groups…(Vannittu vende prathikkan!) First year: I was a fan Prakash chettan’s Prayer…( Prayer starts with “Ente ponnu thamburane”). .., Ninan chettan’s prayers were a blend of Old and New testament, Deepthi’s n Manju’s Genuine and feminine prayers, Anu chechi’s High stylish prayers, Chanchal’s Logical one line Prayers..(Nee enne vekthiparamaayi snehikkunathine orthu..njan Araadhikkukayum… sthu….),Tojo’s Hard statement prayers, Vineethamma’s Deep n heart felt prayer, Emi’s Long Prayers… Jimesh’s Short prayers, Jobin’s Song of songs ,Pratheesh’s Musical cries, George’s High sound Prayers, Reenu’s beautiful n’ indepthPrayers, Ajjo’s Manglish prayers ,Jibin’s Innocent prayers..Ann’ s English prayers, Tigi’s Soundless Prayers, Tintu’s Cute Prayers starts with ‘Eshow appacha’…Tressy,Anubel, Anu peter’s Series prayers( If one stopped ..other would start…Thick friends aayirunnu) Oh it was rich….It was inspiring….It was a comfort…It was a refuge…n’ Strength to the weak…. The Soul’s Silent ‘n’ beautiful prayers….A lot of people liked to hear ….. In the end , small paper pieces was distributing… write down the personal concerns….You may remember ….the person who was witnessing in front of the group….that I have cleared 16 out of 18 supplies….He too wrote his pain on the same small white piece of paper…Thank u Tintu chechi….(intercessio n ministry coordinator in our times..) Oh ….I want to be there Vimalagiri now….On the same 2’’ width school benches… After 2004 My morning prayer … Reciting---- - Psalms 1:3, 1 Chorithians’s 13:6-13 My Night One liner I did mistakes today….. Lord have Mercy…’n’ Thank u so much 4 the Mercy

Ennu Snehapoorvam

You know the fish which always opens his eyes while sleeping…..Dolphin
You know the JYian who always kept open his eyes while praying….Jobin Scaria Pinne Vallapozhum njaanum……….!

In his first presidential address Fr.Auguatine pulimattom(Our School Manager) was telling,Lenin told to fellow Russian Students ..”Never forget three things in a student life’First thing ‘Study’…Second Thing ‘Study’…..Third Thing ‘Study’ But He ended his speech like this “I am telling to you students…. ‘Never Forget Four Things in students life”First thing is ‘Prayer’…Second thing is ‘Study’… Third thing is ‘Study ‘….Fourth Thing is ‘Study’

School Assembly
Holy Angel’s E.M.H.S

Gem In the Dust

Peter said to jesus, “ Rabbi, it is good for us to be here.Let us put up three shelters-One for you,One for Moses and one for Elijah”............ ......... ......... ......... .........
..As they coming down the Mountain.... ......
Mark 9:5

Dear JY
We alighted to Manama city at 3:00 pm. outside was a little bit humid. Air was hot. But mind was much happy..that i expressed in my face while I stepping down the Bus...Since there would be no work pressure for the coming days...Besides Me,three others were there to spend our Ramadan holidays... Two Kannadiga friends, Both from Karwar and another Keralite...I put my ‘Police’ fooling Glass(childhood pronunciation) ..and walking like Mark of ‘Westlife’...We searched for one moderate hotel... after had a light snacks from one Kerala Hotel...(I ordered Steam cake(puttu) and pazham..His face expression told me.. “ Ninte oru Puttum pazhavum,ithokke kazhikkan aayirunnegil Nattil ninnal porei”...So I changed the mind to Chicken Burger...I widely Opened the mouth for the first bite...very tough to insert the bun ...To relieve the pressure of mouth, I widely opened the eyes too...All vegetables and chicken round started to fall down...I used my two hands to support the Burger..Somehow i managed ...After the effort, My mouth was opened like a cave for five minutes..sprain. ..)

Near to Manama city, we got one Hotel..Four, planned to stay together...After a while we decided to go outside for a City visit....(I’ve a small plan to attend one Malayalam Mass.).But my friends deviated their to the Attached Bar of the Hotel...Unfortunate ly,I was in the middle of the gang...So i couldn’t escape from my friends....I felt strange inside the bar....1)Hall is too dim to see the people..2)All Harami Saudi Muslims were there in the Bar 3)Drinks were serving by Girls...(Malayalle Manga yum undu ..Hmm)

We four sat together...Near to One Arabic, who was singing Hindi songs...Loud noise every where... My mind was disturbed... I was searching for one good reason to escape....(Thaan Athigam punyavaalan chamayanda). ..One (Bar)Girl came near to us...and started to take the order...Three were discussing what to take...mean while she introduced herself... Negette,Ethyopian. ... Her eyes was deep like an ocean and her face still shows the innocence of a child...

After few min: she left with the order...Subin what you are taking, one among us enquired..I told “I’m making up my mind....” One idea flashed to my mind..I opened my Mobile and Turned ON my ringtone...“Boss, I have a call...I’ll come...” I left (escaped) from the place to see the city and the church... I called on their mobile to inform...

I walked alone by the side of the Gold city ..How fast people are changing their mind and words... i told to myself while walking.. went inside one Mall ...Mouth looking thanne...enquired about church to some people....In Ubedhya, there is one church(they don’t know of which denomination) ...I took one Taxi...he dropped me near to the church... English mass was going on...Very beautiful RC church with good painted glasses...I sat back of the church..and listen the Bible reading...A good crowd were there..very happy to see different race of people coming together to worship...Mass ended at around 7:00pm...I went out of the church after having a small thanksgiving prayer...So cool inside...I went out of the church courtyard and waited the signal for pedestrians. ...walked back to my hotel...Vayaru vishannu thudangi...I looked for a moderate Hotel; Waiter told” chicken Burger, But afraid to try another Burger...Sprain,I directly went to my room..Room was locked...I searched in the Reception... She pointed towards the Bar...Again visited the dark room...Inside the Bar, They were on the same chair....Aadi. .Aadi...’Still you, people didn’t leave ’....“ To where?”...I kept silence...I saw an unforgettable incident from there...Imp of an Arabic old man came out ...called a girl for immoral ...You know, How beautifully Negette escaped from him...without making much scenes...I showed my Right ‘Thumps Up’..She put one smile on her face...she came near to us after sometime...& told “people were blind...”..I know ,By doing this Job, How people are looking on us...But anyhow I want to strive for the survival of my family...” A victim of circumstances! ....A GEM in the DUST.... Enikku,Avalude munpil karam koopi pidichu nilkkan thonni....

Next day, we vacated the room....while going back we searched her in the Hotel to say Bye(She impressed us that much by the words!).... I wished “See you, somewhere else better than here...”...She put a cute smile...
People, Scene of a valley is very beautiful to our eyes...In biblical Point of view...Concept of Valley is related to the situation of a Sinner...(Even though I walk through the VALLEY of the shadow of death...Psalms 23:4)...It is very comfort to proclaim The Gospel on the Mount....But Gospel is for the Valley....eventhoug h it is Dark like a Bar...
Ennu Snehapoorvam

Eldose chettan,My lime juice shop owner; I always had a fight with him....Chetta, Why you are selling this ‘Shambu’,Thambaakku & Manik chand Mijaam Paaku...Alla chettan oru Christian alle...
Mone, I will stop this, If you give me a better alternative. ..Do you know, b’cos of this business only ..I’m surviving... I’ve two children and a wife....I was helpless on his Reply...People, suggest some better alternatives for the worker’s in the Toddy shops, For Bar Girls.....
A basic crisis of a Nation....Poverty, It leads people to do any sort of Job...

Oruvattam koodi ah Pazhaya..

Adhyamayi ,Ah Shishira pulariyil campusil yethiyappol. ..Nammal orikkalum Orthu kanilallo... ee vidavangal dhinam!!
Dear JY,

My last Day in College and in JY group...

On that Morning, I was hesitated to wake up from the bed. Even I cursed the Sun rise....I simply sat like a sentimental species on the bed and put my pillow on my lap...

(Still it is a strange feeling when I had a thought of the First day in the campus....Strange faces, from North to South...A bit nervous on that Joining day...sat near to my mother in the filled auditorium and hearing the Principal’s Presidential Note(Pongachanghal) ....Later they assigned a Batch and a Group tutor for us. We Walked behind her to the upstairs.... I got a seat in the second bench...She started to advice us...gave an outlook of the campus... My Mother was hearing it through the near window...I peeped towards her side...she put one smile on her face...Then there was a campus visit to get a profile of the college....Afternoo n, I joined in the Hostel...Me and my mother went to the Town to purchase..I still remember her reddish rolling eyes looking at me, when I waved my hands towards her. First time I’m away from Home....)

I stood from my Bed and got ready for another campus day, No for the last one...I walked slowly through the college ground with my friends... On the way, I kicked on the bush.....walked over through the ‘Metal’ pieces...High silence played inside my mind...We entered inside the Say one ‘Hai’ to Sundharan chettai...Oru Chaya yedukkatte.. . Avaam...I asked the price of the ‘Cello Gripper’ to our Shop keeper “Thaadikkaaran”...I stepped in to the S8 EB for the last time..said a Good morning to all...I sat on the second bench as usual....Again. ....

I am struggling to accept the final day in the campus...Good days of my college life will become like an yellowish leaf fell down on the field...The Happy days of hostel life.... I remembered the angry and crying 1 & 2...Studious first years... Orikkalum sheriyakatha Smithy, foundry Labs...Sporty 3rd sem...Spiritual Wednesday’s groups... Sleepless nights at the time of Rhythm festivals... .tensed nights of Semester exams...Anxious days of Semester results...Enthusias tic College sports.... Shock yetta after noon Electrical Labs ...Fun filled Campus jokes & Gossips...(pazhampo ri & chaya story; the familiar one)...Our contentful Christmas and Arts festival skits .... Electrifying Campus politics...Batch wise splits....NSS Truckings... .World of knifes after 4:00....Running behind the football in the evenings...Birthday celebrations in the Hostels... Our ‘ Panthamkolithi prakadanams’ on the Deepawali... April fool ,Valentine Days, Women’s day Tharikidas, Funny (sometimes Boring ) classrooms.. ..Sleeping noon times...Swimming in the college Pond...My cross bag and Kaalan Kuda... My memories faded by the enquiry of my friend... Mashe,What happened? Oh, enthu parayaana Machaane...

I didn’t listen even a word to the final advices from Kubra..n Eliyas sir...My Friends were busy with Camera...I felt solitude... looked to my eyes and asked ‘Eda Iniyum Yennu Kaanum’...I put a smile...God knows...

My Last Day in JY Group....

On that Wednesday Morning, I told to Jobin .. that I won’t come to Group today...But, I came to the group as the last one...Time was around 5:30... I sat down near to one corner and looking out through the window....As usual Same white thick smoke coming through the window....Final Years were sharing their rich experiences. ..had begun from the Girls....Ajjo n Ann were coordinating. ....I supported my jaw with the right hand and listened.... .but again the same Cow’s ‘Ayavirakkal’....

One among in the hundreds on the first day.... and My first prayer in the group...... Felt the warmth of the Holy Presence.... Remembering the first Group which I leaded... Remembered my most rated JY song... Remembered the faces of all my Blessed Seniors...All our life filled one day programs... Joshua, Kripa, Chrysalis,.. . All recited prayers had come to my mouth... Remembered all faithful experience sharings... Remembered all life changing advises....Bible readings and in depth sharings...All my ‘vedala’ dialogues... . Our interest in singing.... All reach outs... Journey to the Forest... Our first outreach... Our efforts on Library settings...All our weird calls....Friday vaayinottangal. ..Program mobilisations. ... Senior’s caring... our hostel prayers... All my understanding JYians..My loveable 2004 batch... The graceful journey

In the midst of the applauses... . rose to share my experience of JY life...I told Five Advises....Have to have a dream to wake up in the Morning...Give priority to God...Don’t miss the Groups....bakki Two...ForgotL...Still I remember the Bible passage for us in the last farewell day....

I didn’t feel the taste of the sweet, which they served for us at the end...At last Ajjo hugged me so tight while saying the sthuthi...that my pain overflowed through my eyes and fell down to his shoulders as drops....stepped down the school staircase like a dead man

People, Absence makes Heart fonder....and all farewells are the first experience of Death....

Ennu Snehapoorvam


“Oru Vattom koodiya pazhyavidhyalaya thirumuttathethuvaa n Moham...

Thirumuttathorukoni l nilkkuma nellimaramonnuluthu vaan Moham”



Sorry for my Cruel Words

A gentle answer turns away wrath)-Proverbs 15:1

Saumyamaya marupadi Krothathe shamipikkunnu. ...

(Written on an Old School compound Wall..Kuravilangadu )

Dear JY,

I called her after a long time....So I understood her difficulty to know the person on the other end...She spelled out all her known Boy friends ..I understood her range in friendship.. .At the end she told...Subin alleda....Athe, Athe You had a lot of Boy friends Alle....(onnu parihasichu) ..She laughed...I asked How did you understand me from the call....Whenever you were calling you used to tell this sentence frequently “Appo Angane okke analle karyangal”..Oh Ho...I appreciated her good observation. ...

In my childhood... .I am sure that the word which i used 100 times a day was....Amma, (If she was away from me...I called Ammooo(Loud) ...If she didn’t hear..I would call Ammiye(Kalippu) ....If some visitors were in my home, I would call Mummy(Style) ....If I felt her affection, I would call her ‘Yedi Amme’)

In my college days.....The common word was...Aliyan. .(if I was seeing my friend, I would call him..Aliyo(with smile)...If I was seeing a group of friends...I would call Aliyanmaare( Plural).. ..I called even my brother as Aliyan on those days...hehe . Later....I Used A lot of words like....Dinesh, kalippu, Oodayippu... ..Angane Angane....Now of course some Arabic....Insha Alla,(Means If God Wishes; Here this word is used to escape from Responsibilities)

Word is a Medicine as well as a Sword! It is just like a bird which flies across the skies and weaves their nest on Trees...Rite

People, I am sharing three beautiful words Which I like most ......and gives healing

Compassion (Karuna),

I used to recite one word prayers only...and that Word is Karuna...

Earlier..I prayed like... “Daivame Nee Karuna aayirikkaname. ....” Now I Changed a little bit in the one liner.. “Daivame Njan Karuna Aayirikkaname. ..!”

Blessed are the merciful, for they will see the God.

Love (Pranayam)

When You Love you should not say,” God is in my heart”, but rather, “I am in the heart of God”....I’m not interested to distort its meaning by elaborate the word; meditate the word! Feel its beauty

To Live is to love and love is to get worn out.......Aano. .Enikku Ariyilla!!


During a British conference on comparative religions, experts from around the world debated what, if any, belief was unique to the Christian faith. They began eliminating possibilities. Incarnation? Other religions had different versions of gods appearing in human firm. Resurrection? Again other religions had accounts of return from death. The debate went for some time until C.S Lewis wandered into the room. What is the rumpus about? He asked and heard in reply that his colleagues were discussing Christianity’s unique contribution among world religions. Lewis responded,” Oh, that’s easy. It is Grace

I didn’t understand the depth of the word! ......Something Unconditional, Sounds like forgiveness. ..

(Alone, Jessye Norman begins to sing very slowly

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost but now am found

Was blind, but now I see)

(To YOU, who got hurt from my ‘Cruel’ Words, Hello Chechi... Sorry)

Ennu Snehapoorvam


Among my most prized possessions are the words that I have never spoken.

(Orson Rega Card)

When Buddha was on his death bed he noticed his young disciple Anan was weeping.
'Why are you weeping, Anan?' he asked.
'Because the light of the world is about to be extinguished and we will be in darkness.'
The Buddha summoned up all his remaining energy and spoke what were to be his final words on earth:
'Anan, Anan, be a light unto yourself.'

Buddhist Scripture

Kaiyum Thalayum Purathidaruthu

I’ve a good interest to tell (remind) you about the values and moralities of life; But I hesitate..Please Tell me...How can Riper Chacko tell-Not to Kill....or Veerappan can tell –Not to steal... Weight of the words is increased by the credibility of the Man...

Dear JY

In summer holidays, we spend the days in Mother’s Village; Vayala and we were fond of the place...There were Two or Three reasonable thoughts of our affection to the village...One was ,there were a lot of village friends in our age in the neighbourhoods. .. ‘Maanga’Rajesh (Father’s business was Mango collecting; So son got the nick name...Mango) ...’Puttu Urumees’ ‘Anu’(Our cousin, Looks like Sooryamaanasam Mamooty)...Rakesh and Ramesh(Left activist; Lack of interest in studies, Stopped in seventh).... ‘Ambalavaasikal’(friends living near the Shasthaam temple).

Secondly..Our Grandma’s delicious dishes....Her hands on in the cooking was appreciable. .You want to know the Menu...Kappa and Meen curry, Kanji and Asthram(will! )...Kappa Puzhungiyathu( Puzhukku, Chendan) and Kaanthaari Chammanthi, Jack fruit boiled and Pawn Chammanthi.. ..Sometimes she took some full mangoes which was preserved in salt water during the lunch time...Good food times

Thirdly the splendid nature, with paddy fields, small streams, temple pond, Village church, The Kavadi dance of the small temples, Vegetations for the livelihood, Two feet village roads, Green hills at the far, The Sunset behind the temple, Innocent Village peoples, A U.P School and its play ground, Small post offices, then Raman nairs Ration shop...A Panchayathu bus stops and a Public Library..This was my Mother’s Village; Vayala.

The childhood memories are still played as a screensavers in the front of my eyes..

Some Summer Stories-Chahiyeee!

In the fourth standard vacation, we joined to one Ashaan Pallikkodam to learn Hindi Alphabets... Ashaatti was our Sunday school teacher. In the first class itself, I hated that language, which having letters on hangers, Once Ashatti put a surprise test on alphabets and later I marched out from the class ...With No reason...Otherwise tell me Copying from others answers sheet is wrong...This was my first ‘high paid’ Sin....Till now its bad smell not gone from me...Whenever Ashaatti is seeing me in the church; reminds me these story.. Now i am using Hindi very well with one word... ‘Chahiye’...

Pukavali paadilla!

Temptation on those summers was to smoke...First we tried with paper pieces..Rolled round and lighted...Taking in all CO2...and CO..Temptation had grown and later changed to some small dry sticks...In the tenth standard long vacations, we decided to change to real Dinesh beedi and Cigarettes. But we had no courage to buy from the shops since our uncles were having good name in the public...In Mothers house, Uncles were keeping cigarettes in the shelves of store room to give to servants. One Saturday, we took two cigarettes and went near to one ‘Kappa Thottam’ and lighted the cigars..We thought only God was seeing the ‘Crime’..But our Uncle too....We were taking nearby all air and tried to pull out the smoke through the nostrils, mouth and ears...At the middle of the smoking; He, uncle appeared in front of us. My brother didn’t get the time to run...He got big beats from him with his ‘chooral’... Mean while I escaped to the near paddy field....He came behind me...Couldn’t catch me...Later somebody told....Avan poya vazhikku pullu plum kilichittilla...After this incident we stopped the nonsense thing...

But people, why don’t we Smoke!!...These days a lot of seminars, programs are conducting regarding Smoking...All are teaching us it would cause some incurable diseases, Cancers. I am thinking these seminars are not giving any ripples in the society...Now what difference do these seminars make in the society...They are still smoking..Only difference is People are smoking with the aware that this may cause cancer; What else!..We need a good reason to stop this act....

Or take the case of Abortion; why we don’t do abortion...Mothers having some good reasons to do the ‘Crime’...A lot of Prolifers are showing the cruelty of the crime through the videos...Showing the terror of abortive techniques..
What is the good reason to step back from this acts...
Good Reason
Lord, when I can tell you that Because of my Deep Love to You...That I leave my bad habit; instead of getting Cancer...
Lord, When I can tell you that Because of my Deep love to Babies and to you...I am not doing abortion; Instead of the Terror of the abortions...
I don’t know why Prolifers are showing such slides which create Fear...Try Love.

Ennu Snehapoorvam

Now a days journeys to the village becomes rare...Now; All our friends becomes matured enough to look after their families. Mango Rajesh got married and is doing Tiles work . ‘Putu urumees’ had gone to Kuwait. Rakesh and Ramesh actively involved in the local politics...Amabalav aasikal joined in Defence...The Roads are wide enough for two buses...Most of the people stopped their cultivations. ..Church is newly painted...Raman Nair’s Ration shop; He sold the shop to other one...New members are coming to the Public library ...Evening cricket play has been stopped due to some complaints.. Village postman got retired. ..Now more buses are running in the route..Innocence on the village faces are faded.....

(A Good difference b/w Moses law and Jesus law....Moses law talked about Don’ts..Jesus law talked about DO’s)

Raindrops on a SUNFLOWER

I opened the wooden window pane(old) of my room..Rays of sun gazed in to my room to say Good Morning ...Mist was moving through the valleys...My Eyes wove nest on the Orange Tree which is dried and nude by shedding its green clothes...But the Tree is too young to dry. Even it sheds the little green leaves on the field...Drops of tears were falling from my eyelids..Really I was angry with my God!

Dear JY..
I have been getting a prayer request mail from my Sunny chayan for the last one month
(Dear All,
Febin Mol’s health condition is getting better, but the fade of vision become more shocking situation. It happened from ‘optical nerve infection’ , Kindly Pray to get back the proper eye sight very soon. (because of the tube inserted thru mouth in ventilator, she was communicating thru eyes a lot. ‘Tracheostomy’ scheduled for today 10.30am., I will update you after finish the same.
Continue the tearful Prayers….. “we should continue to pray earnestly”

With Love & Prayers,
Sunny Philip)

As I’m flying from my (present) work town to next destination, These days I was busy with some ‘unusual’ jobs. But today I decided and found out some time to visit her in the hospital..After I had come from my office, I went out to catch a Taxi to Al-Mana, Dammam (hospital). Outside was a little bit humid and hot So i stood at the shade of one Furniture shop to catch the conveyance.. ..I showed ‘hand ‘ to a vehicle, Stopped near by...On the way to hospital, I was silent to the driver...It is very near to my Accommodations ....He stopped at the main entrance...Outside was a little bit rush today...Arabs, Some parda worn ladies, Filipino Nurses, Egyptians Doctors were walking through the verandah...I checked at the enquiry and asked ‘Where is the ICU’..She pointed to one direction... On the way I again asked to one Nurse....Go straight and then left...

They were not allowing anyone to enter the Care unit... Doctors had given strict orders inorder to avoid further infections.. Her father was waiting outside along with his family friends..Mother was sitting along with her to give confidence.. .I stood nearby her father, Jose.Face reveals an utter helplessness. .I just peeped through the glass opening...I couldn’t see her..I searched a word to comfort him...I felt better to be silent... “ Achaya Prathikkam”....After an hour, I walked back to my villa with a lot of anger with my God!

Febin.K.Jose, Age 17 .A 12th Standard Student here in Indian School Dammam. One Month before she was admitted to Hospital due to urinary infection... Now became bed ridden by completely paralyzed and living by the support of ventilator. Now I am hearing her eyesight has been faded due to infections in optical nerve...The Christian Community all over the world is praying now...Realising the Only hope is God...

While I was walking back...I was totally disappointed. I was confused with the uneven mathematics of His grace...I was worried with His silence ...I was surprised with His absence...I told to Him ‘This is Cruel’ and This is Injustice’...A cute 17 year old Sunflower girl...She has to fly like a butterfly and dance like an angel on these days...Then Why now she is lying on a hospital bed!... Njan vallathe paribhavichu. .... Daivathodu! She is too young to dry!

Febin, Ninnodu yenikkinnu pranayam undu! Hey you taught me, My prides are like bubbles...

People, you should walk through the veranda’s of your nearby Hospitals... Listen to the loud cries... Please extend your hand....Tell in their ears... “We are with YOU.”
Can you just remember her in your prayers, today

Ennu Snehapoorvam

Years back, a Mother carried her beloved son on her lap and cried!
Now, a Mother sitting near to her beloved daughter’s Bed and crying...
(Thamburane, Sahikkan Pattunilla.. Ketto !)

♫ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♪....SA-RI-GA-MA-PA-THA-NI-SA

In one African tribe, When a woman knows she is pregnant. She goes out of the wilderness with a few friends and prays together and meditates until they hear the song of the child. They attune to the song and sing it loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone in the tribe...(The Song is about the child’s purpose and its flavour)
When the child is born ,community gathers and sings the song...When he reached his adulthood... .At the time of marriage...Finally when the soul is about to pass this world, family and friends gather at the person's bed, just as they did at their birth, and they sing the song...Song about his Innocence and purpose..
Dear JY,
When a story begins with, There was a man who had two sons...I’m sure that your mind would wander along with the story of Prodigal told by Christ...It is that much printed in the mind of the Christian world. One of the good reasons of its universal nature is the Hope which it gives to the readers...and the character of the prodigal has a good simile with us...Later, Theologians got a light that the state of elder brother is much worse than the prodigal son...Potte, It needs much discussion.. .I would like to share with you something which I was worried much regarding the Story....

Why didn’t father go out to search of his beloved Son...!!

Before telling the parable of the lost son, Christ had told about Parable of Lost sheep and the lost coin..In both parables shepherd and the woman was searching for the lost One...But in the later parable, it hadn’t happened. :((
A few of my friends keen to know about the reason...They were telling...Story is beautiful but not natural! Edo, which father could sleep serene for years, when his son was lost.... I always opened my hands as a gesture of ignorance... People; Now I got a 100 lux on the darkness of this matter...

Athe, Father is CONFIDENT that his son will come back one day...You know why?
Men (Women) are NOSTALGIC... Human is always thinking of coming back to the HOME, Even if He was among the Pigs or even he is among his friends, even he is working hard to tie the two ends of the life, Nothing can stop him to coming back to the warmth of the Home...but Pods of pigs are needed to remember My Mothers delicious dinner...

So my friend, please remind me about my innocence, Please tell me, once you are good to us....Hey, please sing my song...Song of my purpose and flavour...Just I want to find my way home :)
A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.

Oh,Parayaan Vittu poyi....
To that African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the centre of the village and the people in the community form a circle around him. Then they sing their song to him. Song is just a remembrance of his Identity.

Ennu Snehapoorvam

Do you remember where we heard this song...

“Onnaam Naalu Ullasa yathra poyappol....
Oru manja kili...Oru manjakiliye kandu

Randaam naalu Ullasa yathra poyappol
Randu Chendu mulla,oru Manjakili
Oru Manja kiliye Kandu.....

Moonaam naalu Ullasa yathra poyappol
Moonu mulla poovu,randu chendu mulla,oru manjakili
Oru Manjakiliye Kandu.......”

Sung by one Old woman,
St.Joseph’s Old age Home (by the side of paddy fields..),
Near Malyinkeezhu.