Tuesday, January 20, 2009


  M - O - T - H - E R

'M' is for the Million things she gave me,

'O' means Only that she's growing old,

'T' is for the Tears she shed to save me,

'H' is for her Heart of gold,

'E' is for her Eyes with love-light shining in them,

'R' means Right, and right she'll always be,

Dear JY

Amma Chithrangal

Hiding behind her Saari….

There was one ‘Bheekaran Johny’,like Beharin koshy in our native…In our childhoods we were afraid of him…Whenever he saw us na, ‘Kannurutti kanikkum’…we were too innocent to show our small eyes as big…All the time we ran towards the mother’s lap for a refuge…we would hide on the back of her Sari…

Mothers Treaty

We were always disobedient to our Amma…She was a little bit worried for that…Sometimes we would exchange sharp words with her…She used to cry at the end…Then our drama would happen…Me ,came near to her and hug and call “Mummichy”…How sweet you are!... “Nee Poda…Enikku ninte oru Aruthiyum kelkanda”..In that back ground my Brother was announcing’ “This years Best Actor awards goes to SubinLal and Best female supporting actress award goes to njangalude Ponn’Amma’….Adoor Gracy…”

She was starting to put a smile in the tears flowing cheeks...(Like sunrise in a rainy day; The marriage day of Crow and Fox).

Hospital Snap; Mothers Lie

In my early childhoods, I was very weak in health…Once in a week my mother had to take me in to Hospital, she always had a tough time with me. She was staying alone with me in the hospital bed for the whole night with a Rosary on his hand..I was sleeping by the side of her…she often touched on my head and chest and checking the temperature…On the Morning she would tell the lie too… “Njan Uranguvaayirunnu…”.I was always amazed ‘why she didn’t get any fever from me after a close care’ or otherwise she was hiding her pain;?

Snap of Hopeless Mother

If parents of any pupils had come to our class room, we were very happy..As you know,Teachers had more things to talk about the poor students. So during the classtimes we got time to play inside the class room. On that day also someone came to the door side of my classroom and called the Teacher.. We were very happy, But it didn’t last for long…the woman who was at the doorside was my Amma; As usual My teacher unfold all the hurting stories to Amma; …Still remembering the view from the back, While she was walking back through the Verandah of my High School…with a face of humiliation; humiliated by her beloved children

A helping hand

As she wanted to go to school of 30Kms away, In the morning she was always very busy in the kitchen …She want to leave the home around 07:30 am. She wanted to arrange all for us and her….We also extend some small helps to her.May be silly to u but very cute to do…..

She was very lazy & careless in wrapping the Saree…so she needed us to adjust the edge of the saree so that the edge of the ‘pavada’ shall not see outside…

She had no time to select the matching Blouse (safety pins) for her cotton Saree…From the store, Sis usually took the one and gave to her…

While rushing to the front door, she would ask whether there was any (talc)powder on her face…Anyone of us had come and rub her face…

Athelete Amma

In Saturdays, we used to have a 100Mtrs race with our mother around our house…She had her batton (Virakukolli)… We were running with a big noise…No reason at all…We just throw the football to the white washed wall, or we threw some rock pieces on the tile roof…is it a reason to get a ‘beat’

Anxious Snap

“Eda ithu vareyum avan Vanilallo”..She told to me…Avan parnajathu “He will reach by this evening…” Pinne Avan yevide poyi…Darkness became too thick…Owls and bats flying across the tree..she was getting tension,(he went to Coimabtore to get the Certificates) After some times we were hearing our mothers cry… “Ente Mone enthu pattiyo, Daivame…” .Enikku kalippu vannittu irikkan Vyaah….After sometimes…She started with beating her chest and cry… “Ente mone aaru pidichontu poyo..Avo”

Enikku kalippu koodikoodi vannu..“Ente Daivame, irikkaporuthi tharuthillalo” , We didn’t have his PH.No. to contact him directly. we got one friend’s number……At last somehow we contacted him….He was telling “Eda njan Computer game kalikkuvayirunnu…” Njan 2 cheetha paranju…Here people are eating FIRE, Annerama avante oru computer game… ‘Alla Avide vere onnum Undakkiyille…’Kurachu Fire enikku baaki…I cut the call…

Why her heart was burnt with fire…And why its not happened to us…Ariyillatto.

Mothers ‘Dirty’ habbit

We never like some habits of her..so sometimes we had a fight with her…One reason to fight was this…

She used to eat the food which we left over the plate….She had two covering points for the ‘bad’ Manners

1)God hasn’t given to us any food to throw

2)Njan kanjivellvum cheeni nurukkum(Tapioca piecesum) kazhicha schoolil poyathu…Hmmmm


Whenever our father came for vacation, he was starting teaching mathematics…We had a shoeflower plant in our compound…He would break sticks from the plant..and started beating like anything…Amma karanjondu parayum… “Avanmaare engane ittu Kollanda ketto…Padikkan mandamaranengil ,valla krishi paniyum cheythu jeevicholum”. .

The pictures of our journeys with mother were very beautiful…We used to have some long journeys on weekends…to some churches…We were normally going not because of faith…We would get an opportunity to eat ‘Masala Dosha’ from the Hotel…

Praying Mother

Her Morning and Night prayers are very rich; In my memory, she never missed any…In the Morning she started with “Unaruga nee yen Athmaave…..”

Dream has come True

I got my first salary on one Saturday…I gave the small amount to my Mother’s hand…She was weeping…later became a cry…like a Woman, after fulfilling a life time dream.. A lot of meaning on that tears…

She has sacrificed her time, money, life, fun, everything, a woman has the right to have. But she abandoned the Joy for her children…Even then she is telling…. “Enikku ningalle sradhikkan kazhinjilallo” . Nengil vallatha oru Nombaram; When I heard the confession..

I’m blessed for having such a cute MOTHER with hundreds of pierced swords in her heart like Mother of God. and I know, All Mothers having the Same Face…

Ennu Snehapoorvam


Recently on one fone conversation… I told to her “ Ammo, I am alone here, So…….There is a good chance to Lost… Aano“Are you remembering my Face”…Yes. ..."Then you never be…"

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Eyes of Janus

               The first of January was dedicated by the Romans to their God of Gates and Doors, Janus. A very old Italian God, Janus has a distinctive artistic appearance in that he is commonly depicted with two faces...one regarding what is behind and the other looking toward what lies ahead. Thus, Janus is representative of contemplation on the happenings of an old year while looking forward to the new


Dear JY,

             Last week of December, I thought of something doing good.  I looked for someone in the streets to perform my ritual. I found out an Old Afghan Cobbler, with a long off white beard and having a brown turban on his head. He used to sit near to the Pedestrian crossing of our street with his knife and thread. But knowingly or unknowingly I forgot to give something to him on the Christmas night. So I postponed it to the last day of the Year.

             My friends called me to celebrate the New Year in their City. I expressed my interest and suggested them to celebrate the year end at the beach. I packed up for two days and went out of my room to their living city. While reaching the pedestrian crossing, I searched for the Afghan man of senile. But he was not there. With a little disappointment I resumed my travel for the celebration. It was a little difficult for the driver to drive in such a foggy atmosphere. So it took an hour more to reach than usual. When I reached there, I have seen the streets which were usually crowded at these days, were deserted now. I came to know that all celebrations were called off here due to Israel aggressions at Gaza Strip. I called my friends, “Da, No Celebration at the Beach. We are going to celebrate in a Hotel, Join with us in the Dance floors.” Ah, Let’s see. Me and my brother walked towards the Hotel. On the way he asked me, Da ithu Veno . Chumma, to show our presence only. When we reached infront of the Hotel, I again called my friend, Da, Which floor. “Da ,We haven’t reached there. We are stuck with Traffic. Need at least half an hour to reach there”. He told. “Then we will take another rounds and will come” ....Ok. “So my brother, how we push of our time....” “Shall we go to church.” Why not....Hey,Taxi

11:45 pm

Before we reached the church, the Holy mass had finished. Priest was giving the final blessings to the people. We too joined with the people to get the blessing. We came out of the church. While taking the hot black coffee at the church premises, Priest announced “There is a small night vigil to receive the New Year”

11:55 pm

Priest asked to meditate about His blessings in these year...I closed my eyes to picturise His grace throughout these year...Choir was singing as the reflection of my mind....

“എന്നൊടുള്ള നിന്‍ സര്‍വ്വ നന്‍‌മകള്‍ക്കായി ഞാന്‍
എന്തു ചെയെണ്ടു  നിനക്കു യെശുപരാ

നന്ദി കൊണ്ടന്റെ ഉള്ളം നന്നെ നിറയുന്നേ...."


12:01 am

All devotees hold the lighted candles and saw the first visual of the New Year. ‘His Body and His blood.’ Choir was singing again.....

"നന്ദി കൊണ്ടന്റെ ഉള്ളം നന്നെ നിറയുന്നേ...."

12:05 am

Priest was again asking to meditate on our thoughts about future. He prayed for His Grace to fulfil our longings. Choir was humming...

"നിന്റെ ഹിതം പൊലെ എന്നെ നിത്യം നടത്തിടനണമെ
എന്റെ ഹിതം പൊലെ അല്ലെ ........എന്‍ പിതാവെ....എന്‍ യെഹൊവെ"

I smiled at me,when i thought of where i decided to go and where my celebration ended up...

I always amazed by His Call from the deep darkness of the night to the brightness of the new dawn....


Ennu Snehapoorvam


I used to see the Old Cobbler who is busy with his work....Yet i didn’t give my gifts to him. I’m looking for another Good day to give.